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18 July 2005 @ 11:21 pm
The Horny Hirsute  
Title: The Horny Hirsute
Author: Wendy heather_macleod
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: It's a surprise. It's HP though.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own the rights of Harry Potter, or any rights of Marvin Gaye (and I don't want to, either...)
A/N: This fic was written for lurkerlaine, who requested this um... pairing. Accidently. This was beta'd by Amu, chickenamu so if it is crap, blame her.


Snape clutched his bleeding leg as Fluffy salivated over his prone form. Snape’s eyes met one pair of the beast’s massive ones. He cast a stunning spell, desperatly trying to fend off the three head dog, without success.

Snape had just began to fear that his last moments of life would be spent with a monstrous drooling mutt when the door slammed open and the room shook as a gigantic form entered.

“Hagrid.” Snape said, recognizing the half-giant’s silhouette.

“Professor Snape? What’re yeh doin’ here? With fluffy? I wasn’ expectin’ anyone else tonigh’!”

Hagrid began to croon in a low, sensuous voice:
There's nothin wrong with me
Lovin you--- And givin yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true
....Let's get it on …”


Snape found himself becoming aroused, despite his distaste for half-breeds, as the baritone voice vibrated though his body Fluffy made a keening noise, edging forward to sniff at Snape’s crotch.

“ACK! Beast, get back—” Snape spluttered, trying in vain to shove one of Fluffy’s massive heads away from his groin. Fluffy’s right head nuzzled against Snape’s ear, giving his greasy scalp a lick. The third head looked expectantly at Hagrid, who, having exhausted his supply of Marvin Gaye lyrics, sauntered forward seductively (as seductively as a half-giant can do anything, at least).

“Y’see, t'get 'im calm ye use music, but that tends to get him a lil', er, over-friendly, I s'pose.” Hagrid winked and began stroking one of Fluffy’s heads. The canine shifted to the side, revealing his engorged cock.

Snape struggled to his feet, swearing at the increased pain in his leg.

“I don’t want to know how you… entertain yourself with your… beasts… but I have no intention of learning.”

“Oh, but Professor Snape, Fluffy really seems to ‘ave taken a likin’ to yeh. Best not t’ upset him, he does na’ take no fer an answer.” Snape gazed at the slobbering, lustful beast disdainfully. He turned on his heel, producing his Sexy Cloak Twirl #5 (patent pending) which he used for his most dramatic exits.

In this instance, however, the use of Sexy Cloak Twirl #5 was unwise. Fluffy had grown wild with lust, and the swirling cloak was the final straw. And as if Fluffy were a bull and Snape’s cloak red, the beast charged, eager to impale Snape on his… ‘horn.’

“Fluffy! Na’ yet!” Hagrid cried, throwing himself in Fluffy’s path. The dog knocked Hagrid’s sturdy body over, pinning him to the ground. Fluffy’s swollen, tapered prick rubbed against Hagrid’s thigh, precum smearing over the rough fabric. Hagrid moaned, lifting his hips up to press against the dog.

Snape gaped at the display, ashamed of the warmth spreading through his groin. Hagrid shoved Fluffy up, reaching to take Snape’s hand. Snape stared at the offered hand, disgusted.

“If you expect me to join you in this- this PERVERSION—” Snape stopped short when Fluffy’s left head licked him from bottom to top. He gasped as the large tongue ran over his erection, causing the throbbing heat to spread though out his body, reminding him of just how long it had been since he felt the pleasures of the flesh. “Aah!” Snape gasped.

“See, is na’ so bad. Yeh can’t deny that yeh liked that,” Hagrid gripped Snape’s hand and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Snape sat stock still as Hagrid ran his dustbin-sized hands over Snape’s scrawny frame. Hagrid’s lips pressed insistently against Snape’s as his enormous hands gripped Snape’s arse, lifting him up and pressing their bodies flush against each other. Snape moaned and opened his mouth to the assault.

Fluffy’s heads began to tug at Snape and Hagrid’s clothes. The pair fumbled with each other’s fastenings, allowing the three-headed dog to pull their garments free from their bodies, tugging and ripping the fabric away. Snape paused to glare at the mongrel when he felt his black silk boxers rip free of his body.

Snape and Hagrid looked at each other, taking in each other’s nude forms. Snape was sallow and malnourished, the Dark Mark faintly visible on his left forearm. Hagrid could hardly be considered nude, given his amount of body hair. Even his swollen prick had dark hairs creeping up the shaft. Snape’s eyes widened- not at the vast coat of hair, but at the sheer size of Hagrid’s cock. Hagrid grinned at his expression.

“Yeh should na’ be frightened o’ me. I was thinkin’ yeh would top. So, d’ yeh want me, or Fluffy here?” Fluffy looked at Snape before lowering his head to give Snape’s cock a long, firm lick. Snape glared at Hagrid.

“If I am to do this, it will be with something at least partially human,” Snape sneered. Hagrid and Fluffy both looked disappointed.

“All righ’, I know Fluffy was lookin forward to yeh takin’ ‘im, but I’m sure he wouldn’ mind me, would you yeh, Fluffy?” The three heads whined in unison and butted his heads against Hagrid. “I’m sorry, Fluffy. But maybe another time,” Hagrid winked at Snape, whose mouth twitched as he muttered something snide about airborne pigs.

“Besides,” Hagrid continued, “If I’m doin’ yeh, an’ Snape is doin’ me, it’s almost as if he were doin yeh as well.” Hagrid was becoming unbearably excited.

“I assume, if we are to go through with this, that you have lubricant?” Snape asked. The half-giant looked embarrassed.

“Well, er, Fluffy an’ I usually just use, er, this,” Hagrid scooped some of the drool off of one of Fluffy’s chins. Snape let out an exasperated sigh.

“Fine,” Snape muttered. “Bend over.”

“Jus’ a minute, now,” Hagrid said as Fluffy whined and licked his hand before turning, bearing his canine arse to Hagrid. Hagrid slicked the dog’s hole briefly, as well as his own cock before kneeling so that he was positioned at Fluffu’s entrance. “All righ,’ we’re ready!” Snape rolled his eyes as he slickened his erection.

Without preamble, Snape thrust forward into Hagrid’s un-lubricated hole, made loose by years of copulation with large beasts. Hagrid pressed forward into Fluffy’s panting body, letting out a low sigh.
Snape set a quick, brutal pace for the three of them, gripping Hagrid’s back hair for leverage. Hagrid grunted as his hips gyrated back and forth, fucked and fucking.

Fluffy’s center head was pointed toward the ceiling, letting out whimpers. Another of his heads hung low, panting fiercely. The last was craning it’s head around, attempting desperately to lick his prick without dislodging Hagrid. Fluffy’s halfgiant lover blinked the sweat out of his eyes and noticed his pet’s actions. Hagrid, always a good friend, took Fluffy’s large, tapered prick in his hand and began to pump him, squeezing the swollen flesh gently.

Snape, a quick and efficient man, grunted as he reached orgasm inside of Hagrid’s body, before withdrawing and falling to the floor. Picking up a piece of clothing that he recognized as Hagrid’s shirt, Snape began to clean himself off.

Hagrid continued to fuck Fluffy, who was whining and grunting as the half-giant’s thrusts shook his furred body. The dog then threw all three of his heads back and let out a long howl as he climaxed, squirting viscous whiteness over Hagrid’s hand. Hagrid gave three more shuddering thrusts, bellowing loudly as he came. He and Fluffy collapsed, sated and panting.

Snape pulled on his robes, feeling ill. Hagrid blinked up at him as Snape headed to the door.

“Yer na’ goin’ ta’ stay an’ cuddle?” Hagrid asked, sadly. Snape gave him a long, contemptuous glare before raising his wand.

“Obliviate.”
 
 
Current Mood: embarrasseddisturbed & disgusted
 
 
 
Elainelurkerlaine on July 19th, 2005 03:02 pm (UTC)
I would like to deny having anything to do with this.
amuchickenamu on July 19th, 2005 07:10 pm (UTC)
I was there when you requested it. Two witnesses put you at the scene of the crime. And crime is definitly the right word for this fic.